Toilet Training
By: christie
TAGS: Potty Training Toilet Training kids toddlers
Everything you need to know about toilet training
“Oh, isn’t Johnny toilet trained yet?”
“You know, your cousin Sally was toilet trained at 17 months of age. Mothers nowadays are just lazy when it comes to these things.”
“My Millie was toilet trained in just three days!”
Every Mum wants the process of toilet training their child to be as quick and painless as possible. Unfortunately, the all too frequent, well-intentioned opinions of other Mums or family members about toilet training can leave us panicked, insecure and questioning, ‘why isn’t my child there yet?’
In all honesty, I wasn’t ready to start toilet training when, at 25 months, my daughter decided she was. Having worked in child care for many years and seeing the painful, drawn-out process toilet training can be for children who are truly not ready, I had decided to take the ‘wait and see’ approach. Clearly, I wasn’t looking closely enough.
Following an initial burst from the starting line of lots of potty success, we had a little regression when she lost some of that initial enthusiasm and realised that this potty sitting caper was now expected every day. Now, at 32 months, we are tackling being dry for day-time sleeps and, after a prolonged reliance on the potty, she is finally interested in sitting on the ‘big’ toilet. What I have come to realise is that being completely independent with toileting is an ongoing process that usually starts with a whole lot of curiosity by the age of 18 months and, for most, ends sometime after the age of five when they can actually manage to independently wipe all of the poo from their bottom following a number two!
Just as every child is an individual, so it is with their toilet training journey. That isn’t to say that there are not ways to prepare for the process and below you will find hints, tips and the advice of real mums to give you the confidence to get ready and set to go forth and conquer toilet training.
Ready… when will my child be ready to toilet train?
Every child is different when it comes to the right time to begin toilet training and how long the process of mastery will take. Watch your child for signs of readiness, including:
Physically, your child is able to:
- Hold his wee for longer periods of time (nappy stays dry for up to two hours) and is urinating in larger amounts less often, generally this is at about the age of two years…
- Tell you when she has wet or soiled her nappy, as she is doing it or shortly thereafter, and may begin to show discomfort at having used her nappy
- Can pull his pants off and on
Emotionally, your child is:
- Motivated to learn, showing interest when you use the toilet and wanting to try herself
- Able to follow simple verbal directions
Get set… get yourself, your home and your child ready to begin toilet training
Consider what you and your child need to get started. Ask yourself the following questions:
Will we use a potty or would I prefer to teach my child to use the toilet straight away?
Some children find the physical requirements of balancing to climb up onto and sitting on a toilet difficult. Others are afraid of flushing. Some parents find the practicality of taking a potty from room to room (and even out of the house) useful when starting training. Other parents detest the idea of a potty and bypass it all together. Think about what will work best for your child within the requirements of your family, your home and your routine.
What equipment will we need? Do we need a potty or insert toilet seat and step? Do we need training pants, underpants, flushable wipes for kids, or cloths for cleaning up accidents?
Whatever your approach, the lead-in to toilet training can be a positive and exciting time for your child if you involve them in shopping for a potty or insert toilet seat and ‘big kid’ underwear.
What approach will we take at home?
Think ahead of time how you will manage the introduction of toilet training at home. Will you stay home? How do you feel about using rewards as positive recognition of results? How will you deal with toileting accidents or mishaps?
How will we manage outings?
Taking the potty with you, Pull Ups training pants or, in my case, a mad dash to the shops following a successful sit on the potty, are all options for heading out and about with a toilet-training toddler.
Do you need to talk to other adults involved in your child’s care about the fact that you are starting toilet training and the approach you are taking?
Go… It’s Toilet Training Time
Think practically about strategies to make the process of actually starting toilet training easy on both your child and yourself. The most important thing to remember is stay relaxed. Be consistent and positive and try to make the process of learning to use the toilet or potty as unhurried as possible. Some other good ideas to consider:
- You will generally find it less stressful to stay home as much as possible for the first few days of toilet training.
- When you begin, take your child to the toilet or potty frequently to help them become familiar with the process and to allow them a greater likelihood of initial success. Taking the potty with you from room to room so that it is always close at hand can also help in those first few days.
- Don’t ask, tell your child it is time to go to the toilet. Sit for a few minutes and read a book, sing or talk together to help your child relax. They may not go and that’s fine. Positively encourage their attempts by saying things like: “I am so proud of you for trying.”
- Ensure your child is dressed in clothes that are easy to remove quickly and independently. Avoid buckles, belts, tight clothing and long skirts or dresses. You might find it easier to allow your child to initially go without any pants at all at home.
- Teach your child about toilet paper usage and how much toilet paper to take from the roll and allow them to have a go at wiping before you double check.
- Reinforce good hygiene habits from day one by teaching your child to wash their hands each time they use the potty or toilet.
- Decide what, if any, rewards (star charts, or treats, for example) you are comfortable using to reinforce your child’s successes.
- Respond calmly and in a matter-of-fact manner to toileting ‘accidents’ or regression. Consider the circumstances of when and how ongoing accidents are occurring and whether there are any external factors likely to be influencing the change in your child’s toileting behaviour (for example, an absent parent). It may be necessary to take a step back in the process to give your child more time and the positive encouragement needed for them to continue.
- Even once your child is well and truly on the road to being toilet trained, remember to prompt them to use the toilet at regular times of the day – after snacks and meals, before and after sleep times, and before leaving the house.
At what age did you tackle toilet training? What would be your number one tip for Mums about to start out on a toilet training journey? Check out Poo Poo Island if you want to find out even more…
christie
Christie is a qualified early childhood teacher and Mum of one very busy toddler. With many years of experience working with children and families teaching preschool, early primary and directing a child care centre, she thought being a parent would be a breeze but quickly learnt that the practicalities of parenting are very different to the theories! You can read more about Christie's adventures as a proud Mum, domestic disaster and passionate early childhood teacher on her award winning blog, Childhood 101, or on the Childhood 101 Facebook page.
Showing 21 comments
thanx Melissa for ur reply, i had him in pull ups but he doesnt want to wear them any more cause he's a big boy. i will still have a look at the site, thank u
Hi Lee, I kept my boys in Pull-Ups at night until they were dry and promised each a 'big bed' once they were dry for several weeks in a row. It took awhile for them to be dry at night, but Pull-Ups saved me loads of washing and sleepless nights. I suggest you visit the Dry Nites site and have a look around. They also offer a great 'Ask an Expert' service. Check it out here: http://www.drynites.com.au/ask... Good luck! Melissa
Hi Ladies, i'm new here, and have enjoyed reading so many stories, thank you. I have a problem with my 4 yr old boy, he is toilet trained and wears undies to bed, but i cant seem to get him to wake on his own and go to the toilet at night time when he needs to go unless i wake him up and carry him around 1am. I have tried to get him to walk to the toilet but he crashes into the wall. the house is also well lit at night time so he can see. I am averaging 4 to 5 hrs sleep a night and its taking its toll. please any suggestions.
My number 1 tip would be to always make sure the toilet is easily accessible.
Make it fun, make it exciting, make it like santa and easter bunny rolled into one.
The rewards for mum are ten times that "no nappies" Woo Hoo!
That's a great system! I am now negotiating out of the need to offer a reward for every successful #1 and saving a treat only for #2s...
We have high 5's and cuddles for every time my 2yo gets it right. I love the way it makes him smile. He's so proud of himself and I am so proud of him :)
MY FRIEND'S DAUGHTER CHLOE GETS SO EXCITED TO GO THE TOILET NOW, AS HER REWARD FOR GOING TO THE TOILET IS ACTUALLY FLUSHING THE TOILET, SHE HASNT ACTUALLY CUAGHT ON YET THAT IT NEEDS TO BE DONE ANYWAY : )
when toilet training my daughter I take her from the spot she weeed to the toilet 10 times. When she does wee on the potty I burst into a big song and dance to make her feel special.
Another sibling coming along always makes it tricky, especially as you need to be vigilant when first starting to toilet train: keeping on top of their signs, always asking them if they need to go to the toilet plus being there to cheer them on when they do something on the potty.
There's only 23 months between my first and second son so I waited until after my second son was born before attempting to toilet train my first. Now there's only 4 weeks until my third is due so I am madly trying to take advantage of the warmer weather and get him toilet trained before another one comes along! Being summer, our bribe of choice is ice blocks :)
i tried just after my son's 2nd birthday and wanted him out of nappies before his sister arrived 2 months later, i tried for 5 months and seemed to get nowhere so i put him back into nappies for the winter and as soon as spring arrived i told him every day for a few days before hand no more nappies as he was a big boy and once we started again he "got it" very quickly, but we did use bribes tic tac's for wee's and match box cars for poo's as sticker charts did not interest my son.
my tip each child is different and different methods work for different children you have to work out what is best for your child and that child has to be ready but expect accidents and keep trying they WILL "get it" some just take longer than others
I struggled to get my eldest to poo, and we cracked gold (uh, brown?) by bribing him with a Buzz Lightyear toy in return.
Am employing the same strategy with my two year old son now, and have a Ben 10 watch ready to go. Fingers crossed!
My tip for potty training? Don't take them shopping like I did last week...can get a bit wet...
http://www.foxinflats.com.au/2...
my daughter is now 3 years old and we are still having battles with toilet training..somedays shes really good but other days it feels like we are getting no where and she just fights me all the way. any suggestions???? I feel like she will never learn to tell me before she does it. help???
Jacqueline, if you are tired (which is completely understandable), I would just go with the flow. Maybe try some nappy pants as an alternative to battling keeping a nappy on her, or leave the potty available and see how she goes. Some children just get it really easily, hopefully for your sake, your daughter will be one of those who does it quickly and without fuss.
Thanks so much for this post. My almost 20 month old has been refusing to wear a nappy (and prefers to be nude) for about the past week. She is interested in the potty and has done a few wees in there with no encouragement from me as I am expecting number 2 in 8 weeks. Should I continue to encourage it if Im not really in it. I find I will be frustrated and tired easier and therefore may be a negative influence or should I just lower my expectations and go with the flow. Sorry didnt mean to ask more questions, your post was helpful in itself to give some gentle unbiased encouragement.
I am so glad you have found it helpful, Megan. Good luck on your journey.
I agree completely about waiting until they are interested QB. Your son will get there soon, I am sure, it's the waiting that can be frustrating.
I look forward to reading more about your EC journey on your blog post :)
Christie, this is the best article I've read on toilet training - some fantastic tips, so thank you! We need to start thinking about it all soon in this household, so I'll be bookmarking this, making my husband read it, and referring back to it for encouragement.
My number one tip would be wait until they are ready and interested. If after a few weeks they lose interest and begin to fight you really hard, put the diapers back on and give it sometime. Don't give in to societal pressure to potty train. This is from someone who pushed too hard too soon and 2 1/2 years later we are still not there. It has been a long road and I am not sure there is an end in sight (I pray there is, but....). Let it be their idea (I did this with my youngest and she potty trained in a month), her brother- not so much.
Excellent Post! I love the way you write without bias x I agree that every potty journey is individual... here's Aidan's:
I practiced EC when Aidan was a couple of weeks old. I had trouble breastfeeding so I decided I'd revisit the concept when he was a few months older. We also chose to use cloth nappies so he could feel when he was wet. When he was about 5 months old my husband started putting him on the potty again and did a wee and poo, he's been going great guns ever since. He has had off stages like when he got really sick and one week when we used disposables as we didn't have access to a washing machine where we traveled. Those moments aside he does all his business on the toilet now, we moved him from the potty to the toilet when he was a little over 1 year old.
In the beginning we had to watch very closely for cues but now when he needs to go he comes to me or Steve and says "go go" and walks to the bathroom door. He gets lots of praise, we sing rhymes and read books. He likes to see in the bowl when he's finished and push the flush button. He wipes himself with a small bit of paper but I still have to wipe him as well.
We've found Aidan's potty journey to be a really positive one. He's learning to hold his wees during his daytime nap and he's comfortable going in public bathrooms and other peoples houses. He's even holding off when in the car too and waits until he gets home. Now that the weather is warmer he's wearing jocks during the day and often completely naked outside, it's great because he's learning more about his body everyday.
I'm not putting any pressure on him, we just follow his cues and there is no way I could have helped him achieve this without the constant support from Steve and my Mum, not to mention how lucky I am to be a stay at home mum.
Hmm I think I need to write a blog update post about this now lol